Description:
What happens when sexual shame hijacks our internal compass—and what becomes possible when we reclaim it? In this powerful and playful episode of Open Deeply, Kate Loree and Sunny Megatron are joined by the brilliant and beloved Dirty Lola—award-winning sexpert, edutainer, and longtime voice in the sex-positive community—for a deep dive into shame, pleasure, creativity, and liberation.
We begin with joy: how pleasure becomes more accessible when shame loosens its grip. From there, the conversation moves into the roots of sexual shame—especially religious and cultural conditioning—and how that shame doesn’t just distort our relationship to sex, but to ourselves, our intuition, and our capacity for free thought.
Lola shares her own journey of growing up in a religious household, breaking free from rigid belief systems, and cultivating a life grounded in curiosity, humor, and embodied truth. Together, we explore:
• How shame disables the internal compass and hands power back to controlling institutions
• The surprising relationship between shame, rigidity, and creativity—and why creativity may be a powerful antidote
• Kink as both a site of shame and a pathway to healing
• Laughing at what once felt unbearable
• Fourteen different forms of shame—from sexual and relational shame to creativity, illness, and survivor shame—and which ones still tug at us
• The difference between being ashamed and refusing to tolerate shaming environments
• What a truly shame-free space feels like in the body
• Why “being ashamed of being ashamed” can trap people in a hall of mirrors—and how to take the first brave step out
• How to balance safety, risk tolerance, and liberation amid the many sources of shame in the United States today.
Come for the sex-positive wisdom. Stay for the liberation.
Dirty Lola’s Bio:
Dirty Lola is an award-winning sexpert, edutainer, and longtime voice in the sex-positive community. With over 11 years of experience working in sex shops, she’s helped thousands navigate toys, turn-ons, and the beautifully messy world of pleasure.
Known for blending humor, honesty, and empathy into her work, she has hosted live Q&A shows, appeared on your favorite podcasts and streaming services, spoken on national stages, and guided folks through love, sex, and everything in between.
Whether it’s kink, communication, or keeping the spark alive, she’s got the answers — and the lube.
How to find Dirty Lola:
Instagram: http://instagram.com/DirtyLola
Facebook: http://facebook.com/DirtyLola
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@dirtylola
About the Hosts:
Kate Loree, LMFT, is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities and the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships.
In addition to her master’s in marriage and family therapy, she also has an MBA and is a registered art therapist (ATR). She is an EDSE certified sex educator and an EMDR certified therapist with additional training in the Trauma Resiliency Model (TRM) for the treatment of trauma. She has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003.
She cohosts her own sex-positive podcast, Open Deeply, with Sunny Megatron, has been featured in Buzzfeed videos, and has been a guest on Playboy Radio and many podcasts, including Sex with Dr. Jess, American Sex, Sluts and Scholars, and Multiamory. She has written for Authority Magazine and Good Vibrations, been featured in Vice and Ms. Magazine, and is a frequent public speaker.
Website: https://kateloree.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/opendeeplywithkateloree
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@opendeeplywithkateloree
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KateLoreeLMFT/
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/kateloreelmft
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSTFAqGYKW3sIUa0tKivbqQ
Sunny Megatron is an award-winning sexuality educator and media personality. She’s the host and executive producer of the Showtime original television series, SEX with Sunny Megatron, plus co-hosts American Sex Podcast and Open Deeply Podcast.
Voted XBIZ 2021 Sexpert of the Year, Kinkly’s Sex Blogging Superhero of 2017, and named one of the 6 most savvy sexologists in North America, Sunny has been featured in Cosmo, Playboy, Buzzfeed, CNN, and more. She is also a contributing editor of XBIZ Premiere Magazine and a regular columnist for Sexual Health Magazine.
In her sell-out sex and kink workshops, Sunny’s unique brand of “edutainment” seamlessly combines her humorous lecturing style, interactive exercises, and the latest sexuality research. Sunny’s passion is helping people become their authentic, sexual selves by learning to overcome shame and shed inhibitions. As a lifestyle BDSM enthusiast, much of her work centers around normalizing alternative sexual practices and ending sexual stigma.
Website: http://sunnymegatron.com
Facebook: https://facebook.com/sunnymegatron
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/sunnymegatron
Instagram: https://instagram.com/sunnymegatron
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/sunnymegatron
American Sex Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HroMhWJnyZbMSsOBKwBnk
TV Show, Sex with Sunny Megatron: https://www.sho.com/sex-with-sunny-megatron/season/1
Open Deeply podcast is not a replacement for therapy or therapy. Please know this episode has themes of sexual and emotional abuse and neglect. If you catch yourself becoming emotionally overwhelmed by this episode’s content, please get support. Call a friend, therapist, or an emotional support hotline, such as, 800-273-talk (8255).